Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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