Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
