That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
