Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
