New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
