I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
