Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
