When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
