you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You're like the curious george of whores
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
