on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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