I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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