Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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