btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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