But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I accidentally burped into my bong.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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