It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
look no pants
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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