Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
