he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
