I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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