It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
