dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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