2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
and you fell through a lawn chair
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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