Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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