I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
