After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
