idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
we're so committed to being not committed
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
