I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
