you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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