Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize