Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Dick very happy bro
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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