I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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