Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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