i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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