I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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