Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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