im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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