what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
