New invention idea: vibrating tampons
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Randomize
