I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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