He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
