If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize