Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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