my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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