I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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