its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
