there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
