First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
