I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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