there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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