genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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