You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I know her cup size but not her name....
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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