People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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