Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
