I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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