Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
