C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize
