all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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