Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
