HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize