He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
